No, David!

Yesterday, my all-time favorite school activity took  place for the first (and last) time this semester: first grade storytelling.

If you don't know any first graders personally, they are THE BEST!  And the real best thing about the first graders is that they LOVE me.  They would passionately and unquestionably follow me like little lemmings off the edge of a cute, Hello Kitty shaped cliff.  They are my groupies and I am their fearless, awesome, super-tall rock star leader who speaks funny Chinese.

We read the story "No, David!" which is about a little boy who never ever ever in a million years listens to his mom when she tells him, "No, David!" or "Not in the house, David!" or "That's enough, David!"  ***Spoiler alert*** But in the end, after David breaks the beautiful flower vase while playing baseball in the living room, his mom gives him a hug and confesses, "Yes, David.  I love you."

Here are some highlights from yesterday's lessons:

A picture of David's naked little butt shows on the screen.  All children scream and cover their eyes.  While writing the worksheet, most children write that the book was "funny" but one little boy writes that it was "a kind of porno."  Whoops.

~~~

FG1 (to me) : "MISS ZHAO MISS ZHAO MISS ZHAO ... are you from America?"
FG2 (to me) : "MISS ZHAO MISS ZHAO MISS ZHAO ... good morning!"
Miss Zhao: "Miss Zhao is over here"
FG1 and 2:  "Ohhhhhhh noooooooOOoOOOoOoo!!!! MAAARIIIIAAAA!!"

~~~

Me: "Can we all say, "No, David!"?  Go!"
FG: "NO, DAVID!"
FG Kevin: "NO, KEVIN!"
... pause ...
FG Kevin (to everyone):  "I said, "No, Kevin!""

~~~~

Me: "Why does David's mom say "I love you" even though David is not a good little boy?"
... silence ....
Miss Zhao: "Maybe because she is still his Mom.  Would your mom would hug you at night even if you were naughty?"
FG 1: "Once, my mom locked my little brother outside for a whole day!  Until it was night!"
Miss Zhao:  "Wow.  Did she hug him at the end of the day?"
FG 1:  "No, she spanked his bottom!  Bam bam bam!"